the biggest detriment to your success

What is success

What is success. The definition success, in Webster’s dictionary, “the accomplishment of an aim or purpose”.  Why do we want to succeed, and at what particular task or goal are we trying to succeed at.  Are our goals and dreams our own or are we trying to succeed at something that is not congruent with our values and wants?
I have only had some limited success in life. A large part of being successful is being able to put your self out there and take chances.  Playing it safe, and living a meek life will not allow you the opportunities to be in the right place at the right time when opportunity strikes.

How to be successful

How to increase your chances of success anyways? I would say the most important predictor of being successful is someone who is willing to fail over and over again, and keep on persevering  A person who is open to experiences and someone who willing to meet new people and put themselves in uncomfortable situations.
Now you might say, “hold on, I’m an introvert, there is no way I am going to be able to put myself out there”. To that response, I would say “bullshit”. Anyone can change the way they behave if they are determined enough.  It takes modifying your behavior one small step at a time.  For example, instead of spending quiet time alone at home, you join a Zoom meeting for writers interested in writing their memoirs.
Success takes persistent dogged determination.  But it doesn’t have to be a grind. You can work on what you are trying to accomplish one small step at a time.

Why strive for success?

I would say that the best reason I have for striving to become better person than you were yesterday is the simple reason that I like to improve.  , others might have other motivations for success:  respect,  money, adoration.  The source for what motivates an individual to strive for success can be vast.
Regret could be one of the biggest motivators.  Life is short, and the more you wait to accomplish your goals, the less chance  will have time to complete what you set out to accomplish.
Along with success comes the rewards: money, accolades, respect from others. Many strive for success for the material gains in life.  In America, if you are a success, you are revered.  To be successful to many is all that there is to be gained in life.

Is there a downside to success?

There are two sides to a coin, when pursuing your dreams.  There is always the chance that things will not work out, no matter how much time and energy is put into the endeavor, however, usually with persistence, the odds of realizing ones dreams increase.
To pursue success and achieve ones goals, a significant amount of time usually needs to be dedicated. If someone has a family, it is often times that family time is sacrificed in order to make more time for ones endeavors.  Someone can be a success in finance, but at the same time be a complete failure as a father.  There is a price to success, in many situations.

Should I pursue success?

When success it is not the end goal to someones aspirations but a byproduct of someone’s dreams, anything is possible.  Like the artist who cannot stop painting.  Sure, they had dreams of being famous from time to time, but the true source of their success was their undying desire to create art and share with the world their creations.
When success doesn’t poison the well, but instead spurs someone on, encouraging them to create, explore, connect and grow, I believe that is when success is realized

You Have to Fail in Order to Succeed!

After experiencing what many might say was an existential crisis, three years ago,  I have been continually pursuing a path of personal development and self growth.

Looking back, I can see that self growth does not happen all at once, it takes time, effort, and a lot of energy.  Patience and perseverance are also two key ingredients.

I have observed that a large chunk of the three years, I have spent in isolation.  As an introvert, when I have a problem, I tend to seclude myself from others, and research a topic for hours, days, and sometimes years to fully comprehend what it is that I am curious about.

Don’t get me wrong, researching, reading,  and analyzing data, is what I like to do, but I have come to the conclusion that over the past few years, the biggest spurts of growth that I have had in the field of personal development came in the form of taking direct action.

This could be going out on dates,  or taking courses online, getting up the nerve to talk to a therapist.  I even setup an informational interview with a coworker, and by doing so I formed a friendship with the most amazing person.

Now, I can see why taking action is not the go-to means for people (introverts especially) who want to make a change in their lives.  Taking action is scary.  Why would you want to wander outside your comfort zone, to meet total strangers, when you could sit on your comfy couch and read a book about how to talk with strangers, instead?

Here is the thing that struck me about taking action.  A sure sign that you have taken action is that you have failed!  That’s right!  Failure is a sure sign that you have taken action.  Without Failure, there can be no chance of success.

So there you have it,  go out there, take action, and expect to fail a few times in the process.  But, just by the fact that you failed, means that the chance of success is that much closer within your grasp!