Follow Your Own Path In Life

I keep having this urge, whenever I get an idea into my head of something I want to try doing. My immediate reaction, is to not think of if this new idea lines up with what I would like to do, but rather if others would approve. Like a small child craning their neck around to see if their parent behind them is approving of what they are about to do.

I have always second guessed myself. When I think of a path or action I want to take, the first thought that comes to my mind is ‘What would others think of this?”. It never fails.

However through years of personal growth, I feel I am for the first time giving myself permission to purposeful to stop looking around for others approval and just listen to my intuitive voice and go in the direction it suggests.

I wont lie, it feels uncomfortable. Like any well worn habit that has deeply etched its pathways of my mind, I want to resort to my old ways of thinking. But I persist. I have a sense of knowing in myself that has not been there. For the first time, I think I trust myself to make a choice that I and I alone will be able to live with, even if I fail.

Its scary, I will admit to take a path that I have decided and not a decision that I have allowed vetted by a nonexistent rule book outlining today’s supposed societal norms.

its unusual for someone in today’s society to follow their own path. To a certain extent I would say it is disparaged and at worst the idea is shunned. Why would this be the case? Well, it seems more and more in America, independent thought is seen as a dangerous way of being. Economically, companies would rather keep employees tied down, with healthcare and benefits. It seems like a safer way to live, however people don’t realize how much freedom they actually are giving up.

“What if I just got out of my own way and let myself experiment and let my inner voice guide me on my path?”

Don’t expect others to understand. Sure you can accept advice, but nobody knows you more then you know yourself! This is very important. Others can’t completely understand what your wants and needs are. Only you can come close to to understanding what you desire in life. Just like you can’t expect yourself to fully understand what drives others to do what they do. Just be true with what your inner voice is telling you, be still and listen intently to what it is saying. This is the truest essence of trusting yourself and living authentically. Being the most authentic you. You can’t live a truer life than to live in a way that your inner voice is alignment with.

Listen to Your Inner Voice!

I can’t remember a time when I didn’t second guess myself. I will get a grand idea in my head, possibly on rare occasions with bravado and passion I will attack the task, but eventually my eagerness and energy will fade.

Any great idea that I have had has been brought to me by that little voice. That faint almost timid whisper that occurs when the clouds part in my mind and a moment of clarity delivers to me a great idea.

Almost simultaneously, with this grand idea, almost immediately after there is a sharp pang of fear. A fear so intense, that my natural reaction is to push away the new idea, like it was encrusted with tumors and oozing cancer!

I think that fear is the thought that others would be dismissive of my idea. Like when you tell someone you want to accomplish a big goal, and they shoot you down, “you can’t do that, you will fail!”, they would say.

What is the issue here? I am sure like all big issues in adulthood they almost always have their start in childhood. As a child I never got much space to grow. My family like many families was pretty dysfunctional. One of the side affects of a dysfunctional family is numero uno, you don’t, no cant admit to yourself or others that your family is dysfunctional. The truth doesn’t exist. Dysfunction flourishes in families where the dysfunction itself is not acknowledged. Everyone keeps quiet.

The side affect of this kind of childhood upbringing is that you are repeatedly gaslit by family members. “No, we didn’t have an argument last night, everything is fine Timmy”. When the reality of what is occurring is completely ignored, you start questioning if you are the crazy one.

So, one byproduct of a dysfunctional childhood upbringing can be that you have a pattern of second guessing yourself. You might not even know it at the time, I sure didn’t.

I think the only way to break this cycle is to stop and truly listen to that inner voice. Take what it is saying to heart and honor what it suggests. Like a small child coming to you with an idea. Just listen. And then if the idea sounds half good, follow through with it. Try it out. What can it hurt! Maybe try it out for an agreed upon time interval and see where it leads. I’m going to try juggling live chickens for 15 days! If it doesn’t work out, pat yourself on the back and encourage your inner child to keep offering up ideas.

I think this can help mend trust issues with the inner child that got scrambled at a much younger age.