Keep playing the game, it gets better!

I sell on Ebay, and to sell on Ebay I need to procure “stuff” others want to buy on a regular basis. So here is the thing, when I first started out going to thrift stores, and searching for items through apps such as Offerup, I really had no clue what I was doing.

I started out driving all over town, picking up bulky items that I would pay whatever the asking price was. I didn’t try to haggle the price down with the seller. This business model ended up being inefficient and time consuming.

But this is the thing. When you are in the process of learning anything new, you will go through a similar phase. The awkward path of figuring it out, stumbling along the path of being green at something. Along the way this newness brings with it feelings of uncertainty, self doubt and feelings of loneliness.

There is no way of avoiding it. When starting something new you will most likely suck at it for a while. For me I enjoyed the exploration and learning. I enjoy meeting new people and speaking with them about the items they are selling. The process of learning was more than just a job to me, it fit my personality well.

I guess this segways into the next main point is your “why”. Why do you want to learn this new thing, and is it a big enough “Why” to help push you over the hump when the going gets tough? Being clear about why you want to master a new subject or take a new class will help bring clarity to your mind, when the going gets tough.

The longer you keep playing the game, the more opportunities start opening up for you. I am reminded of this time and time again. On one given day, I might visit a couple thrift stores and garage sales and come up empty. For some this is enough reason to call it quits and stop going out looking for more items. A sign from the gods that they have failed, their luck has dried up and there are no more riches to be found. However, I never quit. I understood that in order to get the good items, I need to be consistent in searching for new items. It never seems to fail. I can have a string of one or two bad days, but strike gold the next day.

You have to keep playing the game in order to reap the rewards. If your “why” is strong enough and you persevere, you will succeed. The odds are in your favor.

Why you should try

Why should you try.  You should try because your time on this planet is not infinite.  You should try to show to yourself that you can.  You should try so that you grow as a person, strive to step outside your comfort zone, and become the individual you were always meant to be.

This is what encapsulates ever dream, and goal.  Putting in the effort to just try.   Try something that you have already failed at before. Try drawing again, or try riding a bike that you fell off of many times before.  Trying is what separates the people who never accomplish their goals, and the ones who do.

Trying can be correlated with perseverance, and persistence, too.  All three have something in common.  They all involve the human trait, courage.   You will need to have some level of courage to keep on trying, when things don’t go your way.  You will need to persist, and persevere, if the goal is important to you.

When you try because you have an authentic interest in a subject or field, when you know what your “Why” is in relation to your goal, you can make great strides and persevere far longer than someone who is not quite sure of why they are pursuing a set goal.

So, again, just try.  You can try for your loved ones, or try for your boss, but above all else, try for yourself.  Because in the end, this is the one person that you let down the most when you give up on your dreams.

Fear of Learning

I have had a deep fear of learning, ever since I can remember.  Actually, it is a deeper fear than that.  I also fear taking chances. I fear visiting a new restaurant to reading a new book.

I believe my deep seated fear lies in the chance that I will be made a fool, or shamed in some way.   That I will never be competent in the task at hand.

From my past history, as a child, I felt that I could never truly please my father or meet his lofty expectations.  To avert these feelings of shame and inadequacy, I would just not try.  Problem solved.

I found that if I did not try, I could avoid my father’s critiques, for the most part. Unfortunately, this mindset has followed me into adulthood, and it has had a tremendous affect on the trajectory of my life.

My career or lack there of has languished for years now.  I have come to the conclusion that I am afraid of trying because I feel that I am not competent to do the task.  Funny, since in order to be competent at something, you first have to put in the time and effort to master the skill.

This just leaves me in an endless loop of never fully committing to anything, because of this aversion.  Why does it seem that the majority can push through this cognitive block, and I cannot. I don’t think I fully comprehended how much of an affect it has had on my life and career.

I guess what I am saying is that I am not very conscious or self aware.  It is blind spot that I have dealt with my whole life.  How can I be so blind to the fact that I have been running all these years in place.  I want to be more proactive, and take charge of my life.

I don’t want to languish any longer in a dead end job.  What can I do right now that will get me in a better position in life?  It would best to speak to a career counselor or advisor?  Probably.

Maybe, I am not alone.  I would guess there are others out there that have been on auto pilot in their careers, or just life in general, too?  I am wondering how they have pulled themselves out of this ditch.   

If you care comment, if you have been in the same situation, please do.  I would be curious to what you have to say.

You Have to Fail in Order to Succeed!

After experiencing what many might say was an existential crisis, three years ago,  I have been continually pursuing a path of personal development and self growth.

Looking back, I can see that self growth does not happen all at once, it takes time, effort, and a lot of energy.  Patience and perseverance are also two key ingredients.

I have observed that a large chunk of the three years, I have spent in isolation.  As an introvert, when I have a problem, I tend to seclude myself from others, and research a topic for hours, days, and sometimes years to fully comprehend what it is that I am curious about.

Don’t get me wrong, researching, reading,  and analyzing data, is what I like to do, but I have come to the conclusion that over the past few years, the biggest spurts of growth that I have had in the field of personal development came in the form of taking direct action.

This could be going out on dates,  or taking courses online, getting up the nerve to talk to a therapist.  I even setup an informational interview with a coworker, and by doing so I formed a friendship with the most amazing person.

Now, I can see why taking action is not the go-to means for people (introverts especially) who want to make a change in their lives.  Taking action is scary.  Why would you want to wander outside your comfort zone, to meet total strangers, when you could sit on your comfy couch and read a book about how to talk with strangers, instead?

Here is the thing that struck me about taking action.  A sure sign that you have taken action is that you have failed!  That’s right!  Failure is a sure sign that you have taken action.  Without Failure, there can be no chance of success.

So there you have it,  go out there, take action, and expect to fail a few times in the process.  But, just by the fact that you failed, means that the chance of success is that much closer within your grasp!